A Reflection

As I have mentioned before, this year was my last season of competitive swimming. We just had the end-of-the-year banquet a few days ago, and, since it was my last one, I couldn't help but think about the past 11 years, and what swimming has meant to me during them.

I started when I was 11, I think. I don't remember why, exactly, though the Princeton Aquatic Club was across the street from the Queen City Racket Club where my mom played tennis. I'd been taking swim lessons since I was small (my first flipturn is on tape somewhere), but had never swum competitively before. I still remember my first day of practice- I had to ask how many laps a 100 was! I was so inexperienced, and I was terrified. But, miraculously, I got better. And better. I advanced through the levels quickly, going from bronze to gold in 2 years or so. I loved every single second of it. Swimming became the center of my life. I would come home from school, have a snack, then eagerly sit around, waiting for my mom to be ready to take me to practice. I was always early, and usually the first one in the water. I became close the my teammates, who were from all different schools, and my coaches. I loved those men, and I still believe that they had the some of the greatest impact on my during those years. Wolf (short for Wolfenberg) and Dan- those two men ruled my life. To quote my beloved professor Kirk, when they said "Jump," I said, "How high and into which tree?" They nurtured my swimming and gave me my love for the sport. I got fast- my freshman year of high school, I went a 1:04 in my 100 backstroke; my sophomore year, I went a 1:00.

Then the unthinkable happened. Wolf got married and quit coaching, leaving Dan in charge. I was devastated. Wolf had practically taught me how to swim-it was because of him that I loved swimming so much! How could he just leave me like that?! I definitely saw this as the deepest form of betrayal, especially since I had such high hopes for my junior year. I thought that I couldn't break a minute in my 100 back if he weren't there holding the watch. Somehow, however, I got through the season and looked forward to the Sectional meet. But then I got sick, and went slow, and cursed life but knew I still had one more year.

It was the summer between junior and senior year that Dan got married and left. This was a major blow, since an entirely new coach would be coming in. I was terrified- how would someone who didn't know me at all help me achieve my goals? How could I do anything without Wolf or Dan?? I think that this attitude made me hate Mike from the very beginning, and I am sorry for that now since I feel like we could've come to an understanding if I had been more open. Alas, hindsight is always 20/20. However, hate him I did, and with a fierce intensity that stemmed mostly from my fear of change- change of coaches along with the imminent change of schools that the end of the year would bring. We didn't get along, though I might have still gotten faster if I hadn't fallen down the stairs while babysitting. I sprained my ankle in the worst way, right before high school season officially started. I was out for a month, and even after I was back in the water, my ankle continued to bother me. I was crushed, and, along with several other things, ended up having a fairly terrible senior year, as well as senior season.

I seriously questioned whether I would continue in college. I didn't know if I wanted to swim anymore, because I felt that Mike had made me hate it, along with what I perceived as my failure during senior year. However, Mark Fino, then the assistant coach, reminded me so much of Wolf that I felt compelled to give it a try. I'm forever thankful that I did because I loved every second of my college career. It definitely had its downs, but I feel like I matured so much because of swimming. I had to come to terms with the fact that I would never be as fast as I was my sophomore year in high school, which was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. But I realized that just because I would never break a minute, I could still work hard and have the best fun ever. I've been able to see this team grow from about 10 to 20 girls, and 5 to 15 boys. The girls have gone from never winning a meet to having a winning season. Both sides now beat other teams at the Conference meet. I remember when the girls beat Hiram my sophomore year-the first time we'd beaten someone at Conference. We came in second to last but I don't think anyone cheered as loudly as we did when they announced our name and score. I've made friends whom I know will last me a lifetime, and I am so so grateful for that. And even though it was hard, grueling, painful, and sometimes disappointing, I love swimming with all my heart and I will miss every part of it deeply. As Bryne said to me once, "You know that we don't do this for the numbers on the board. If we did, we would have quit a long time ago." And it's true, we did it because we loved it.