Alma Mater

As I mentioned in my last post, I was in Oberlin earlier this week, staying with the magnificent CMF himself. Overall I had a good time - hanging out with CMF was especially fun- but there was a subtle strange feeling that permeate the days which we spent there. I had not been back to Oberlin since I graduate from that fine institution two years ago. I had refused to go, mostly because of financial issues, but also because I knew that it would be different from when I had been there; different people, different events, a different atmosphere. I didn't want to go back and feel disappointed that things were not exactly as I had left them. This trip, however, was a necessity; The Boyfriend had some work he had to do with a professor there and Oberlin made a good stopping point on our drive from Boston to Cincinnati, which was our ultimate destination. I thought that after two years, I would have grown up and out of Oberlin enough to handle the strangeness of going back to a place that was no longer mine.

I suppose I was wrong.

I had expected to get on campus and feel as if the college years had been yesterday. In reality, I couldn't remember the names of streets or buildings, or names of people. None of the major places or people from my tenure there, but things I had once known nonetheless. New buildings had been built and I couldn't remember what had been there before. The food - burgers and pancakes which we had raved about nostalgically in Boston - didn't taste as good as it had in our daydreams. All in all, it was strange and it made me sad.

The term "alma mater" means "nourishing mother" in Latin, and I think that it describes my college experience perfectly. Oberlin was like my mother; it provided me with the tools I needed to make a life for myself once I had outgrown it, its faculty and staff made me feel incredibly loved and appreciated. I loved my time there, but there definitely came a time for me to leave. And now, going back to visit is similar to going back to the house where I grew up: it was a part of me, but is now no longer mine. And that is exactly how I felt at Oberlin, like a visitor, a guest, in the house where I had grown up.

ciao