Just when you thought it was safe...

Just as I started to feel settled with the knowledge that there was nothing I could really do about the Tufts interview right now, and after I had convinced myself that I wasn't going to hear form BU until the end of February/beginning of March, I received this e-mail:

Greetings,

A final decision has been made on your application to the Master of Arts in Teaching in Latin and Classical Studies. An official decision letter has been mailed to you and you should receive it shortly. Please note, final decisions will not be released over the phone.

If you have any questions, please contact the Graduate Admissions Office at sedgrad@bu.edu or 617-353-4237. Thank you for your continued interest in Boston University School of Education.

Best regards,
SED Graduate Admissions Office



WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF THIS E-MAIL?!?!?!?!?! AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!

So here I am again, caught up in the muddle of stress and anxiety. awesome.

ciao

Exhale

So, after I heard about my interview at Tufts, I e-mailed the women in the Classics Department, with whom I had spoken a few months ago about the program. I asked her if she had any advice for the interview.

She wrote, in addition to slightly more concrete suggestions,

"Having met with you already, I can safely say "be yourself." You have excellent interpersonal skills and should be fine."



Well, that's good news. :)

ciao

Another Bevy of Emotions

OMG. I can't even handle the emotional overload I am experiencing right now. So, I am still contemplating the emotions I expressed in my last post and not really getting anywhere. Mostly just concluding that been an adult is lonely. That being said, today I got an e-mail from the Tufts admissions office telling me that I had been granted an interview after the review of my application. Now, of course my first reaction was total joy. (For those of you who don't remember, back in the summer when I still posted I talked about applying to graduate school; I sent in my apps to BU and Tufts shortly before Thanksgiving) An interview! At a graduate school! And they might want me because of this interview!

And, of course, my next thought was, "Holy shit. I have no idea how to prepare for a graduate school interview." And then, it was like an avalanche of uncertainty. "What will they ask? How do I respond? What if I'm too honest and they don't like that? What if I'm not honest enough and they can tell I'm trying to be clever or whatever? What if they hate me? Which day is better to interview, the first of second? Does it really matter? What do I wear? HOLY SHIT!?!?!?!?" So yeah, confusion abounds. On top of that, I ran into a colleague this evening at dinner and he told me that his cousin is coming into school tomorrow to interview for my job. MY JOB. As relieved and excited and scared as I am about this whole graduate school business, there is still a part of me that is a bit insulted and upset by the fact that the school is trying to find someone to replace me instead of keeping me. It definitely makes me a bit insecure as well; was I so bad a teacher that they really don't want me? That being said, I'm not sure I would stay even if they asked me, since the timing is really awesome for me to go back to school, but still, it's the principle of the thing.

Ugh.

I know I should focus on the fact that I have an interview, that it's in March so there is plenty of time to prepare, and stop freaking out so much. But, in case you haven't noticed, I'm a really emotional person and sometimes it's a bit hard to hold it all in.

ciao

Bittersweet Symphony

It's been a while since I wrote about my emotional turmoil caused by my transition from student to adult, so I guess it's about time for another post about it.

Friday night was the last home meet of the season for the Oberlin swim team, and ordinarily I would have though nothing of it. The athletic department, however, has started this cool streaming feature where you can go to a link and watch the meet live online. It's pretty cool, and since I was just waiting to leave for the swing dance that night, I decided to check it out. This decision may have been a mistake because, upon seeing my beloved home pool, an enormous host of memories descended on me like a swarm of locusts. No joke. All of a sudden, I missed Oberlin, and being on the swim team, so much it hurt. I wanted to be there, on the deck, cheering on my teammates and joking around with CMF. I wanted to run into the stands to hang out with my friends who had come to watch me swim. Most of all, I wanted to get in the water and swim faster than I ever have, feel the burning pain of competition once again.

When the girls 100 yard freestyle started, I actually started to cry.

Pathetic, right?

I have definitely missed swimming and all it brought with it - the pain of grueling workouts, the exhaustion from 6am practices, the joy of being surrounded by your teammates - but never so intensely as in that moment of watching my former team battle for victory. Ever since leaving Oberlin, I've felt adrift, trying to find my place in the swirling current of adult life. I've mostly managed to find a community here at school among my colleagues and in Boston among old and new friends, but nothing like that togetherness, that family feeling I had when I was part of the swim team. I think seeing them swim on Friday made me realize that I may never ever find that kind of camaraderie again. And it's true, I may not, because how many adults out there feel that kind of connection to those they work with, or the friends they've cultivated? That thought scares me immensely, because never have I felt as included and loved as I did during those four years at Oberlin. But I think it's also part of the growing up process; you have to leave behind those support systems that were once so vital to your well-being.

So, here I am, almost 24, almost two years out of college, and still floating around trying to find roots. I guess it's not uncommon for those of my age, but it's hard to deal with when I had been so firmly rooted before. I'm confident that I will find a place to land soon, though. It's just going to take more time than I thought.

Celebrating Martin Luther King, Jr...Sorta

So, at my school, we have this amazing tradition for the way in which we celebrate MLK Day. Most of the country gets Monday off, then goes back to their regularly scheduled week on Tuesday. Not so for us. We have regular classes on Monday, due to the number of Mondays that get hit by other holidays, then on Tuesday, we have a day long celebration that includes a keynote speaker, workshops centered around diversity and social justice, and a community wide activity. All this is followed by a student art show, showcasing all the work of the students from the first semester. Now, I know that most people would grumble about not getting that Monday off, but there is much to be said for our day of celebration. How many of you actually thought about Martin Luther King yesterday, his work, what he stands for? During the workshops, the kids are actively thinking about, and working towards, all aspects of social justice. They are leading discussions and showing clips and preparing food to donate. The keynote inspires and challenges them to keep Dr. King's dream alive. The school wide activity shows them the diversity and the similarities within our own school.

It really is a great day, and I remember being so impressed and awed last year by everyone's enthusiasm. I even decided to run my own workshop this year about being multi-cultural, and what that means to us as individuals and to society as a whole. Unfortunately for us, however, the weather decided to conspire against us, and, after the first workshop and the keynote speech, school was let out for the day. It is snowing really heavily right now, and the roads probably will not be very safe later on, so it was a good decision, but I was really excited about my workshop. At least we got to hear the keynote speaker, Dr Gloria White Hammond, who was simply extraordinary. I just hope for myself that, in years to come, I can remember the experience I had here and remember that MLK Day is not just about getting the day off from work.

ciao

Back in the Swing (of things)

So, after a blip in the week due to more snow than I've seen in a while, I finally got to teach my first class of the new semester. It was a short block (45 min), so it wasn't super exciting - we spent most of the class reviewing - but it was a nice way to ease back into teaching. It's amazing how rusty you get over a break! Friday, I had two long blocks (80 min) so that was a bit more challenging, especially since I had assigned Latin 3 a quiz during the snow day. I was pretty sure they weren't going to be happy about it, but there wasn't as much grumbling as I had anticipated. Which is a plus, I suppose. I'm really hoping that I can really shape up my teaching this semester, really thoroughly prepare lessons and explanations, etc. I hope that will cut down on the grumbling, but we'll see.

Last night I took a group of kids to the Uptown Swing Dance in Brookline. There were nine kids, 5 boys and 4 girls, which was a great (and surprising) spread. I was a little nervous about it, since I hadn't been to the Uptown dance before and wasn't sure what to expect. We got there for the beginner lesson, which turned out to be a bit complicated for those new to dance. It was even a bit complicated for me (not that I'm super awesome or anything; it's just that I'm not a beginner and should have a pretty easy time during those lessons). The kids were a bit discouraged by this, but once the dance started, they proceeded to practice with each other. The crowd as definitely on the older side, which was fine, but a little less energetic than I was hoping. For the first bit, the kids only danced with each other, but, to my delight and surprise, as the night went on, they started dancing with other people! It was really cool to see them get comfortable enough to ask complete strangers to do a dance they had only learned an hour ago. Two of the boys even asked me to dance, and they were pretty good! So it seemed like everyone ended up having a great time, myself included. On the ride back, those in my van asked if we could go dancing every weekend. I laughed and said we'd have to see. But I am so happy they had a great time and want to do more! Maybe this is the beginning of a swing club! Who knows?

ciao

Snow Day

So, yesterday was the snow day. The Boston area was slammed with at least 18 inches of the powdery stuff, and The Boyfriend and I woke up to a world of white. The stairs leading down to our apartment were completely obscured by the snow, as were the paths leading around campus. We certainly weren't going anywhere soon. So, we had a leisurely breakfast, then suited up to go shovel. That was interesting, since there was so much we weren't really sure where to put it. It was also still snowing rather heavily with great gusts of wind swirling snow every which way. Nevertheless, we shoveled our way out of the apartment, cleared the stairs, then the path ways around us. By the time we headed back in, a fine layer had already accumulated.

Back inside, The Boyfriend and I spent most of the day lounging around, watching TV and movies. I did invite the girls in my house in for a little tea party. I had acquired the delicious Tim Tam cookies, and we whiled away an hour or so doing Tim Tam Slams (if you don't know what that is, look it up on Wikipedia. It's delicious). Around 4, all campus residents were required to move their cars to an un-plowed spot, so the plow trucks could clear the rest of the parking lot. So, we grabbed our shovels and snow brushes and joined our neighbors in sweeping the foot of snow off the tops of our cars then shoveling that all out so it could be moved. That was certainly a lot of hard work, and made the snow day slightly less enjoyable. After the cars had been moved, however, The Boyfriend proceeded to throw me into a bank built up by the plows, which devolved into a full on snow-ball fight between us. It was glorious.

As much as I savor the time away from work, I'm not an enormous fan of the disruption of routine. Anyone who knows me knows that I worship my daily routine, and anytime I deviate from it, I feel antsy and unsatisfied. This morning, as I got ready for work, I felt strange and out of place, all because I hadn't been in school the previous day. I blame this feeling not only on the disruption, but also on the fact that we'd only been in school for one day before the snow came. Hopefully today and tomorrow can get me back into the swing of things. At any rate, here's to really starting the new semester, and the new year.

ciao

False Start

So, today was the first day of classes of the new year. It was rather anti-climactic for me, since I don't teach on Tuesdays, but I did get back into the routine of prepping, planning, and meeting-attending. The kids were very rowdy, excited to see their friends again and maybe even a little excited to get back to class.

All that gearing up to get back in the swing of things was in vain, however, since New England is supposed to get about a foot of snow tonight and tomorrow. About an hour ago, the snow day was called, so after one day, the kids are back on break, and I won't teach until Thursday. At least I'm ready from all the work I did today!

Maybe I'll do something incredibly interesting tomorrow. Who knows?

ciao

Baby, I Got the Blues

Last night, as part of my resolution not to sit on my ass so much, I went blues dancing for the first time in - quite literally - years. I've written before about swing dancing - mainly Lindy Hop, Charleston, and Balboa. Blues is a different type of jazz dance and I'm not sure of the exact definition of it, so I'll just give you my impression. Where swing is very up-beat and fast, blues is much more laid-back. I read somewhere that ballroom dancers are at the most uptight end of the spectrum, blues is at the most laid back, and Lindy Hop is somewhere in between. The music, is, obviously, blues, and is usually much slower than swing, and the dancing itself is slower and well...sexier. I say this because blues is usually very slow, danced to usually very sultry music, and generally requires a closed connection (where the chests of the lead and follow are touching). You can dance blues in a more open connection; you just don't see it that often. The movements are very slow and deliberate, and, in my opinion, require a level of finesse that I just don't possess. I just can't move my hips that way! Anyway, I think it's very easy for someone who doesn't know how to blues to fake it, but I think it's very hard to be really, really good at it. Check out some videos on YouTube.

So, I went to this dance, not knowing a lot of people, a little nervous because, like I said, blues often requires a closer connection. As a follower, though, I was able to control how close I was to my lead, and I was never uncomfortable. Though I'm not that familiar with blues (the last time I danced blues was in college, maybe two years ago), I ended up having a really fun time. The people were really nice and the music, as always with jazz dance, was really great. I did, however, really realize that I am a Lindy Hopper at heart. I might try to go out to he blues dances more often now, but I am definitely going to make more of an effort to get out to the swing dances. Yay for new year's resolutions!

ciao

City Driving

In all honesty, I'm not sure why I'm blogging about driving in the city, because words can't even being to express how much I HATE it. I will, however, try to put this complete loathing into words.

This morning, The Boyfriend needed a ride to the airport (he's going to San Antonio this weekend for a nerdfest conference, aka the AIA). I, being a wonderful girlfriend, agreed to take him, so we loaded up the car and turned on the GPS. Now, let me say first that I love my GPS, and I would not have survived nearly as long as I have on the streets of Boston and the surrounding areas without it. That being said, sometimes I want to chuck that evil little machine out the window and drive over it repeatedly. But I'm getting ahead of myself. As I said, the GPS was on, and got us to the airport just fine. I was familiar with most of the roads we took and generally knew where I was the whole time. This is because I am often the one being dropped off or picked up from the airport, and usually pay more attention to how we get there, since I am excited about my impending flight, etc. When it comes to leaving the airport, in my limited experience, I am being picked up so have no need to pay attention to which road to take, which highway we want, which fork in the road is best, since I have just gotten off a plane and am usually quite tired.

Today, of course, I was doing the dropping off and had to then head home. And of course, inevitably, I had no idea how to do so. I don't know how many of you have left the Logan Airport, but dear God, is it a mess. Ramps going every which way, signs pointing vaguely in every direction - and of course that little GPS that I so loved on the way over was being incredibly unhelpful. Cue the desire to chuck it out the window. Also, I don't know if anyone has ever noticed, but the signs in Boston SUCK. I mean, really, people, how the hell do you all get around every day?!?! Ugh. So, basically what happened was that I took a series of incorrect ramps, was honked at several times while trying to get to what I thought were the correct ones, and then somehow I ended up downtown. Downtown! When I really very much wanted to be heading out towards the suburbs, where I live. Luckily, I had ended up in a part of downtown close to where a friend lives, so I was lucky enough to recognize the area and actually know where I needed to go in order to get home. But still. It was absolute hell.

Thus, driving in Boston is the bane of my existence. 100 points to me as the best girlfriend ever.

ciao

The King's Speech

Last night, the Boyfriend and I went out to the movies, which, in and of itself, is a momentous occasion. He happened to be working only until 3pm, so we had plenty of time to grab dinner then head to the theater. We went to the Coolidge Corner theater, which is pretty impressive. I'd never been there before, so it was a pretty fun experience; the interior is all art deco and the largest theater is actually a stage, with a curtain and everything.

Anyway, we saw The King's Speech, having seen a preview for it a few weeks ago. It's about King George the VI who takes the throne when his brother abdicates. George, played excellently by Colin Firth, just happens to stutter, and isn't really able to make public speeches, so he employs the help of one Lionel Logue, played by Geoffry Rush.

The movie was utterly fantastic. Firth and Rush portray their characters fabulously, and Firth is especially impressive pulling off the stutter. Helena Bonham Carter is great in an understated role as George's wife- I really loved her because she wasn't playing some crazy lunatic. The sets, costumes, and soundtrack are all beautiful, and learning something about the way we talk was pretty cool too. The best part was a scene with Colin Firth galloping around the room screaming "fuck!", "shit!" and "bugger!" at the top of his lungs, then sheepishly muttering "tits;" it might have been the funniest thing I have ever seen. I think the really amazing thing about this movie is that it is basically all dialogue-driven; there are no action scenes, no special effects, just two men, talking about how to talk. It's really very beautiful.

So, if you only see one movie in all of 2011, see THE KING'S SPEECH!

ciao

Starting Over...

So, here are my resolutions for 2011:

1. Be healthy
this includes:
-fruits and/or veggies at every meal
-exercise every day
-limit sweet intake
no big deal

2. Journal more often (this includes blogging!)

3. Keep in better touch with people

4. Put more effort into learning the craft of teaching

5. Try to be more productive with my time
(i.e. try not to just sit on my ass watching T.V. all the time)



Here's to a new year, and hopefully a better me.

ciao